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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
House
Lazy
Way
Finds
Leaves
Direction
Husband
Indolence
Wind
Sloth
Goes
Blowing
Funny
Laziness

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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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