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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Must
Director
Like
Bed
Vocational
Develop
Fang
Directors
Indolence
Skills
Fangs
Getting
Sloth
Funny
Mechanical
Remember
Laziness
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All mothers are working mothers.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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