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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Remember
Laziness
Must
Director
Vocational
Like
Bed
Fang
Develop
Indolence
Directors
Skills
Fangs
Getting
Sloth
Funny
Mechanical
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller