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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Loses
Food
May
Nerve
Nerves
Cooking
Serve
Taste
Lose

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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
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