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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Nerves
Cooking
Serve
Taste
Lose
Loses
Food
Nerve
May

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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