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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Turkeys
Turkey
Thanksgiving
Weeks
Took
Week
Beak
Stuff
Beaks
Three
Stuffed
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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