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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Peek
Wore
Would
People
Blouse
Blouses

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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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