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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Peek
Wore
Would
People
Blouse
Blouses
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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