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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Blouse
Blouses
Peek
Wore
Would
People

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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller