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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Peek
Wore
Would
People
Blouse
Blouses

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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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self-pity is better than none.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
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