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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
People
Blouse
Blouses
Peek
Wore
Would

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
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self-pity is better than none.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller