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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Peek
Wore
Would
People
Blouse
Blouses

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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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