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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Peek
Wore
Would
People
Blouse
Blouses
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
Phyllis Diller