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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Constantly
Fire
Californians
Drought
Mud
Accused
Flood
Seasons

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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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