Quote

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Door
Greet
Doors
Chores
Enemy
Housework
Comes
Cleaning
House
Household
Done
Enemies
Really
Mess
Stranger

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller