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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Happiness
Sound
Power
Feel
Dope
Feels
Hour
Great
Wonderful
Good
High
Like
Hours

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
Phyllis Diller
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
Phyllis Diller
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
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self-pity is better than none.
Phyllis Diller
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
Phyllis Diller
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller