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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Happiness
Sound
Power
Feel
Dope
Feels
Hour
Great
Wonderful
Good
High
Like
Hours

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller