Quote

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Like
Rooms
Bus
Stop
Rainbow
Funny
Humorous
Kids
Looked
Used
Standing
Many
Baby
Midgets
Children
Room
Midget
Time
Humor
Damp

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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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self-pity is better than none.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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