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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Funny
Humorous
Kids
Looked
Used
Standing
Many
Baby
Midgets
Children
Room
Midget
Time
Humor
Damp
Like
Rooms
Bus
Stop
Rainbow

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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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