Quote

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Children
Room
Midget
Time
Humor
Damp
Like
Rooms
Bus
Stop
Rainbow
Funny
Humorous
Kids
Looked
Used
Standing
Many
Baby
Midgets

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
Image
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller