Quote

When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Play
Kiss
Giving
Kissing
Spin
Years
Hell
Quarter
Time
Funny
Owned
Give
Bottle
Home
Quarters
Wells
Bottles
Well
Twelve

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
Image
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller