Quote

When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Giving
Kissing
Spin
Years
Hell
Quarter
Time
Funny
Owned
Give
Bottle
Home
Quarters
Wells
Bottles
Well
Twelve
Play
Kiss

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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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