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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Mirrors
Keeps
Humble
Humility
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller