Quote

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Funny
Mirrors
Keeps
Humble
Humility
Humor

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
Image
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
Image
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
Image
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller