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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Everything
Begins
Life
Spread
Wear
Maybe
Fall
Birthday
Inspirational
Aging
Else
Starts
True
Fifty
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
