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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Call
Father
Used
Hyena
Hyenas
Laughing

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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self-pity is better than none.
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller