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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Licking
Wedding
Picture
Dog
Died
Funny
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
