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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Asked
Couple
Words
Inspirational
Fang
Fangs
Cheap
Husband
Short
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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