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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Better
Wanted
Right
Instinctively
Totally
Knew
Become

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
Phyllis Diller
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller