Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Wanted
Right
Instinctively
Totally
Knew
Become
Better
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Phyllis Diller
My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
