Quote

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Asked
Comedy
Food
Hours
Waiter
Three
Milk
Lady
Fresh
Grass

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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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