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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Thing
Good
Rotten
Skin
Skins
Core
Deep
Beauty

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller