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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Core
Deep
Beauty
Inspirational
Thing
Good
Rotten
Skin
Skins

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
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self-pity is better than none.
Phyllis Diller
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
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I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
Phyllis Diller
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller