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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Left
Breasts
Mother
Beneath
Knees
Tricks
Turned
Knee
Law
Breast
Pain
Trick
Inspirational
Motherhood
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
