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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Beneath
Mother
Knees
Tricks
Knee
Turned
Breast
Law
Trick
Pain
Motherhood
Inspirational
Breasts
Left
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
Phyllis Diller
