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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Left
Breasts
Mother
Beneath
Knees
Tricks
Turned
Knee
Law
Breast
Pain
Trick
Inspirational
Motherhood

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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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