Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Left
Breasts
Mother
Beneath
Knees
Tricks
Turned
Knee
Law
Breast
Pain
Trick
Inspirational
Motherhood
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
Phyllis Diller
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Phyllis Diller
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
Phyllis Diller
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
Phyllis Diller
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Phyllis Diller
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
Phyllis Diller
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
