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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Motherhood
Left
Breasts
Beneath
Mother
Knees
Tricks
Turned
Knee
Law
Breast
Pain
Trick
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
Phyllis Diller
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
