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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Running
Threaten
Away
Parenting
Mother
Keeps
Home
Mom
Children
Parents
Thing
Parent
Going
Times
Funny
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
