Quote

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Mother
Keeps
Home
Mom
Children
Parents
Thing
Parent
Going
Times
Funny
Running
Threaten
Away
Parenting

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
Image
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Image
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller