Quote

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Funny
Running
Threaten
Away
Parenting
Mother
Keeps
Home
Mom
Children
Parents
Thing
Parent
Going
Times

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
Phyllis Diller
Image
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Image
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller