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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Made
Never
Bachelor
Bachelors
Anniversary
Mistake
Guy
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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