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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Funny
Anger
Never
Angry
Marriage
Stay
Fight
Anniversary
Fun
Comedian
Sleep
Mad
Fighting
Bed

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller