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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Stay
Fight
Anniversary
Fun
Comedian
Sleep
Mad
Fighting
Bed
Funny
Anger
Never
Angry
Marriage
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
Phyllis Diller
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
