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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
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Timer
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Dealing
Rave
Kitchen
Rant
Twenty
Recipe
Twenties
Bell
Anger
Recipes
Cry
Bells
Minutes
Frustration
Simmer
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Phyllis Diller
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller