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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Twenty
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Bell
Anger
Recipes
Cry
Bells
Minutes
Frustration
Simmer
Sound
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Business
Dealing
Rave
Kitchen
Rant
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
Phyllis Diller