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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
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Frustration
Simmer
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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self-pity is better than none.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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