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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
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Twenty
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Simmer
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller