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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Witty
Kitchen
Humorous
Laughter
Funny
Inspirational
Best
Way
Odor

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller