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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Best
Way
Odor
Witty
Kitchen
Humorous
Laughter
Funny
Inspirational

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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller