Quote

Ben & Jerry's ice cream will try to make some marijuana ice cream, resulting in thousands of people simultaneously getting and curing ice cream headaches.

Peter Sagal

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Peter Sagal
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 31
Humorist
Playwright
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Peter Daniel Sagal
Make
Jerry
People
Simultaneously
Marijuana
Cream
Ice
Curing
Thousands
Headaches
Getting
Resulting
Trying
Headache

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I love Salt Lake City. It's beautiful with all the great outdoors around you.
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A wedding invitation is a gift subpoena.
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Look out sinners because if you do not go to confession, confession will come to you. The Catholic Church in northern England has launched a mobile confession unit called the Mercy Bus.
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Sometimes you just have to get out there and just help somebody face to face.
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So Grand Theft Auto, for those who don't know, is the video game series where players pretend to drive cars around these virtual cities, getting points for winning street races and killing people and generally creating mayhem. So, of course, we should make the robots practice driving in a violent, lawless dystopia.
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In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5 days later. We also churned our own butter and used our phones for talking.
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We love things with biting - Twilight movies, zombie movies, eating.
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If self-driving cars are going to work - they're being tested now, as you know - the computers that drive them have to have lots of practice before they're allowed to get out in a real car on the roads.
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In the ruling, Justice Roberts, who wrote the decision, referred to cell phones as not just phones but, quote, cameras, video players, rolodexes, calendars, tape recorders, libraries, and diaries, unquote. Plus, he went on, best friends, lovers.
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On Valentine's Day, couples in Calgary can celebrate their love for each other with couples' nude yoga - great way to get in shape and see a side of your partner you've never seen before and never want to see again.
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NASA scientists announced the discovery of 50 new planets, among them what they're calling Super Earth. It's indistinguishable from regular earth until it removes its glasses.
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With two years till the nomination, both [Joe] Biden and [Hillary] Clinton are positioning themselves to be the Democratic nominee. And are they stressing their experience, their ideas, their excellent hair? No. They've been talking about their poverty.
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If you are using search data to decide what's fashionable, you are not fashionable.
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We know that the president [Donald Trump] watches Saturday Night Live because he tweets about it. He doesn't like it, but he keeps watching it.
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Buddhism - Tibetan Buddhism - teaches us many things, peace comes from within, we must be free ourselves from earthly desires...
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[Joe] Biden countered. He was speaking at a summit for working families, and he said he had no stocks, no bonds, or a savings account. He then asked a Secret Service agent to hand him his hobo bindle, and he jumped a freight train back to D.C.
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The new French theme park based on Napoleon is named Napoleon's Bivouac, and will honor Napoleon with rides, battle reenactments, and the brutal March on Moscow ride. That's a walk-in freezer you stand in for 18 months while you try to eat a dead horse.
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Former Sony CEO Amy Pascal - they threw her out of the headquarters, but they gave her a new office on the lot. But she can't move into it because it reeks of pot smoke. Apparently, this is true, the former tenant was Seth Rogan. And he, as we know, smokes so much weed, when he finally exhales, it looks like there's a new pope.
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We runners talk about having fun but I don't think anybody believes us. We talk about discipline and endurance, we take care, we exercise caution, we watch our diets and monitor our pace. We are ascetics who talk, unconvincingly, of the bracing enjoyment of self-abuse.
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