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... it is a fact universally acknowledged that a husband is the most ridiculous thing on earth, except for a bachelor.

Peter De Vries

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Peter De Vries
Age: 83 †
Born: 1910
Born: February 27
Died: 1993
Died: September 28
Editor
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Except
Husband
Marriage
Fact
Bachelor
Facts
Bachelors
Earth
Universally
Thing
Acknowledged
Ridiculous

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Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
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Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.
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The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
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Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.
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Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.
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My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
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A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else.
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We are nothing but a string of gut on a stick of bone riding this piece of astral soot for one piteous splinter of eternity.
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Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up.
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All couples must bear the strain of getting acquainted, having been, up to then, merely intimate.
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Why is the awfulness of families such a popular reason for starting another?
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I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best -- it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money -- provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it.
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Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask. What's in it for me?
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It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
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A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
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We turned on one another deep, drowned gazes, and exchanged a kiss that reduced my bones to rubber and my brain to gruel.
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You ought to be ashamed, a woman in an Easter bonnet told Stein. Your race gave us our religion... From ancient polytheism, the belief in lots of gods, the woman continued a little more eruditely, the Hebrew nation led us on to the idea that there is only one. Which is just a step from the truth, said Stein.
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I made a tentative conclusion. It seemed from all of this that uppermost among human joys is the negative one of restoration: not going to the stars, but learning that one may stay where one is.
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I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
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