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There are times when breakfast seems the one thing worth getting up for.

Peter De Vries

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Peter De Vries
Age: 83 †
Born: 1910
Born: February 27
Died: 1993
Died: September 28
Editor
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Times
Seems
Thing
Breakfast
Worth
Morning
Getting

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The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
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The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.
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What we are assigned to bear is in a sense a measure of our stature.
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What baffles me is the comfort people find in the idea that somebody dealt this mess. Blind and meaningless chance seems to me so much more congenial - or at least less horrible. Prove to me that there is a God and I will really begin to despair.
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Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask. What's in it for me?
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... it is a fact universally acknowledged that a husband is the most ridiculous thing on earth, except for a bachelor.
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Rather than waste precious time arguing, I went up and started serving my sentence without delay. It was usually about an hour for epigrams somewhat longer for a paradox.
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Do you believe in astrology? -I don't even believe in astronomy.
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Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.
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Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.
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It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
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People rarely do what they don't want to.
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A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else.
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My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
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I made a tentative conclusion. It seemed from all of this that uppermost among human joys is the negative one of restoration: not going to the stars, but learning that one may stay where one is.
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I think people love each other a little more than they hate each other ... Love has a slim hold on the human corporation, like fifty-one per cent, but it's enough.
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I tried to write worse but it was no good my generalizations came out as before, each more exquisite than the last. I grew discouraged.
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Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up.
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The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
Peter De Vries