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There are times when breakfast seems the one thing worth getting up for.

Peter De Vries

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Peter De Vries
Age: 83 †
Born: 1910
Born: February 27
Died: 1993
Died: September 28
Editor
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Worth
Morning
Getting
Times
Seems
Thing
Breakfast

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Why is the awfulness of families such a popular reason for starting another?
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We are nothing but a string of gut on a stick of bone riding this piece of astral soot for one piteous splinter of eternity.
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All couples must bear the strain of getting acquainted, having been, up to then, merely intimate.
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What baffles me is the comfort people find in the idea that somebody dealt this mess. Blind and meaningless chance seems to me so much more congenial - or at least less horrible. Prove to me that there is a God and I will really begin to despair.
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A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else.
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We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other. It may be the very recognition of all men as our brothers that accounts for the sibling rivalry, and even enmity, we have toward so many of them.
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The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.
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Do you believe in astrology? -I don't even believe in astronomy.
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My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
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This human nature is shabby stuff, as you may know from introspection.
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It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
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Rather than waste precious time arguing, I went up and started serving my sentence without delay. It was usually about an hour for epigrams somewhat longer for a paradox.
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There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.
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The trouble with treating people as equals is that the first thing you know they may be doing the same thing to you.
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The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
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People rarely do what they don't want to.
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... it is a fact universally acknowledged that a husband is the most ridiculous thing on earth, except for a bachelor.
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I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
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I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best -- it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money -- provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it.
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I wondered whether any woman could be happy with a man who says 'folderol'.
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