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My parents were teetotalers and my grandparents were - it's all the way back. It's New English puritanical tradition.
Penn Jillette
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Penn Jillette
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 5
Actor
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Illusionist
Jongleur
Magician
Musician
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Greenfield
Massachusetts
Penn Fraser Jillette
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English
More quotes by Penn Jillette
So many people say, ‘You know, your taxes aren’t taken by force,’ and that’s foolish. If you don’t pay your taxes and you don’t answer the warrant and you don’t go to court, eventually someone will pull a gun. Eventually someone with a gun will show up.
Penn Jillette
Mentally ill people come from all belief systems.
Penn Jillette
If you can just convince the dope people that the gun people are right and the gun people that the dope people are right, we could actually live in a lot more freedom.
Penn Jillette
If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.
Penn Jillette
If entertainment ran grocery stores, we'd NEVER get oil cured olives or blue cheese, it would be JUST Coke.
Penn Jillette
I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.
Penn Jillette
The only place we were really told to tone it down - where other people would use the word censorship, but I wouldn't - was when we did MTV right after the Beavis and Butt-head thing.
Penn Jillette
The cliche of the nerdy kid who doesn't go outside and just plays games is completely untrue. And it's also true for the nerdy kid who studies comic books and turns into this genius, and it is also true for the nerdy kid who listens to every nerdy thing that Led Zeppelin put out. That kind of obsession in a 16-year-old is not ugly. It's beautiful.
Penn Jillette
I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.
Penn Jillette
I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.
Penn Jillette
I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.
Penn Jillette
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
Penn Jillette
I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when my mom turned 55. For 1955, she was a very old mom.
Penn Jillette
If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.
Penn Jillette
The best way to fight the terrorists is to have the freest country on earth. You should be able to get on an airplane, and people - that will not possibly happen again.
Penn Jillette
The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.
Penn Jillette
This I believe: I believe there is no God.
Penn Jillette
Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.
Penn Jillette
Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality. Morality is not bribery or threats. Religion is bribery and threats. Humans have morality. We don't need religion.
Penn Jillette
Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.'
Penn Jillette