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A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
Penn Jillette
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Penn Jillette
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 5
Actor
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Illusionist
Jongleur
Magician
Musician
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Greenfield
Massachusetts
Penn Fraser Jillette
Going
Something
Joke
Way
Jokes
Laugh
Failure
Laughing
Funny
Ends
More quotes by Penn Jillette
The fact is that violence gives you a rush.
Penn Jillette
We celebrities are desperate pigs.
Penn Jillette
Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.
Penn Jillette
It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more.
Penn Jillette
Every day, TV, newspapers, and the Internet bombard us with a message that we're destroying the earth. Ice caps are melting, rivers are dying, polar bears are drowning, and trees are doing something.
Penn Jillette
I don't think anything gives your life joy and meaning. I think your life simply has joy and meaning. The love for my children, the love for my parents and the love for my friends is the end in itself. The meaning is life.
Penn Jillette
Bob Barr is not crazy enough for my taste.
Penn Jillette
Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.
Penn Jillette
One of the strongest feelings you can get in life--one of the most rewarding feelings--is the feeling of an Aha, I finally understand.
Penn Jillette
When I was 15, 16, 17 years old, I spent five hours a day juggling, and I probably spent six hours a day seriously listening to music. And if I were 16 now, I would put that time into playing video games.
Penn Jillette
Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious it'll make you bugnutty.
Penn Jillette
Building a professional relationship on respect as opposed to affection is a very good idea. Running your art projects the way you'd run a dry-cleaning business is also a really good idea. You shouldn't go into work like you're going on a date, like you're hanging out with friends.
Penn Jillette
One thing you learn doing magic tricks for a living is how close every performance of every magic trick is to disaster. There are no robust magic tricks. They're all hanging from a thread - sometimes literally.
Penn Jillette
So many people say, ‘You know, your taxes aren’t taken by force,’ and that’s foolish. If you don’t pay your taxes and you don’t answer the warrant and you don’t go to court, eventually someone will pull a gun. Eventually someone with a gun will show up.
Penn Jillette
I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.
Penn Jillette
The Tea Party claims to want small government.
Penn Jillette
We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your freedom, to be just as stupid as you can be.
Penn Jillette
I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.
Penn Jillette
No one can tell you the rules of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' No one. Donald Trump just does what he wants, which is mostly pontificating to people who are sucking up to him, while the network people try to manipulate him into making the highest-rated show they can.
Penn Jillette
If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.
Penn Jillette