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When people are hurting, what they really need is someone who is fully there for them - not someone who is condescending or officious. The only way for you to be there for them is by facing your fear or anger, whatever feelings cause you to shut down.

Pema Chodron

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Pema Chodron
Age: 88
Born: 1936
Born: July 14
Clergyman
Philosopher
Writer
New York City
New York
Deirdre Blomfield-Brow
Fear
Facing
Feelings
Shut
Someone
Fully
Need
Anger
Needs
Cause
Really
Hurt
Officious
Way
Causes
Condescending
People
Whatever
Hurting

More quotes by Pema Chodron

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At the root of all the harm we cause is ignorance.
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Usually we think that brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear.
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Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.
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Tonglen is a way for you to be with people who need you - beginning with yourself.
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Ego is something that you come to know - something that you befriend by not acting out or by repressing all the feelings that you feel.
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We are undoing a pattern... It's the human pattern: we project onto the world a zillion possibilities of attaining resolution.
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Every small problem most likely stems from the same root as large problems, and so there is no need to always go deep. One can use anything for the therapeutic process and/if this link is made.
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Anything we experience, no matter how challenging, can become an open pathway to awakening.
Pema Chodron
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As for our inner level of obstacle, perhaps the only enemy we have is that we don't like the way reality is now and therefore wish it would go away fast. But what we need to acknowledge is that nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.
Pema Chodron
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Buddhism itself is all about empowering yourself, not about getting what you want.
Pema Chodron
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Fear itself is the vanguard of wisdom
Pema Chodron
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The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. What a relief.
Pema Chodron
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When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality. (9)
Pema Chodron
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Patience is the training in abiding with the restlessness of our energy and letting things evolve at their own speed.
Pema Chodron
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Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person.
Pema Chodron
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My moods are continuously shifting like the weather.
Pema Chodron
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What you do for yourself, any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself, will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for others, you’re doing for yourself.
Pema Chodron
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The idea is to develop sympathy for your own confusion.
Pema Chodron
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Obstacles are our friends: they teach us where we're stuck.
Pema Chodron
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According to the Buddhist belief, you can go on and on indefinitely, so you see your life as just a brief moment in time.
Pema Chodron