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We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.

Pema Chodron

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Pema Chodron
Age: 88
Born: 1936
Born: July 14
Clergyman
Philosopher
Writer
New York City
New York
Deirdre Blomfield-Brow
Make
Scare
Always
Choice
Circumstances
Harden
Afraid
Soften
Open
Resentful
Choices
Scares
Lives
Kinder
Become
Increasingly

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We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves.
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It's not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown. It is part of being alive, something we all share.
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If you see a homeless person on the street, and they need food, housing, medical attention - if you can give that, do it. But at the same time, work with tonglen, because that is how you start dissolving the barrier between you and them.
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People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That's not the idea at all.
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Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it's important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We're discovering the universe.
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Compassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live.
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Wholeheartedly do what it takes to awaken your clear-seeing intelligence, but one day at a time, one moment at a time. If we live that way, we will benefit this earth.
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All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions.
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As Buddhism moved to the West, one of the big characteristics was the strong place of women. That didn't exist in the countries of origin. It's just a sign of our culture.
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The approach is that the best way to use unwanted circumstances on the path of enlightenment is not to resist but to lean into them.
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Resistance to unwanted circumstances has the power to keep those circumstances alive and well for a very long time.
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If you follow your heart, you're going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient.
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The very first noble truth of the Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable for human beings as long as we believe that things last—that they don’t disintegrate, that they can be counted on to satisfy our hunger for security.
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When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.
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When people are hurting, what they really need is someone who is fully there for them - not someone who is condescending or officious. The only way for you to be there for them is by facing your fear or anger, whatever feelings cause you to shut down.
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Never underestimate the desire to bolt.
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Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.
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It isn't the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it's how we relate to the things that happen to us that causes us to suffer.
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It has a lot to do with developing patience, not with the check-out person so much, but with your own pain that arises, the rawness and the vulnerability, and sending some kind of warmth and love to that rawness and soreness. I think that's how we have to practice.
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Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
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