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One of the loveliest things about being grown up is the knowledge that never again will I have to go through the miserable business of performing in Mrs. Smedley's Annual Piano Recital at McKinleyville's First Presbyterian Church.

Peg Bracken

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Peg Bracken
Age: 89 †
Born: 1918
Born: February 25
Died: 2007
Died: October 20
Author
Humorist
Things
Performing
Recitals
Never
Piano
Presbyterian
Miserable
Loveliest
Knowledge
Presbyterians
Church
Annuals
Business
Annual
Firsts
Adulthood
First
Grown
Recital

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forgetting things is what gives old age a bad name, that and old age.
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When you're little, time stretches obligingly, and vacation is forever.
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It is always a taut moment in a foreign country waiting to see if your English-speaking guide speaks English.
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You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.
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The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.
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The same fire that hardens the egg will melt the butter and much depends on the personality type, whether you customarily rise to a challenge or whether you sink. For as long as I can remember, I have been a sinker. One challenge, and I drop like a rock.
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There was something immensely comforting, I found, about a crumpet - so comforting that I've never forgotten about them and have even learned to make them myself against those times when I have no other source of supply.
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Drinking: something to do while getting drunk.
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Mothers always think you are working either too hard or not hard enough.
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the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.
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Everything takes longer than you think it should, except for some things that don't take as long.
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As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.
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The fact is, the cocktail party has much in its favor. Going to one is a good way of indicating that you're still alive and about, if such is the case, and that you're glad other people are, without having to spend an entire evening proving it.
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Many a restaurant seems to employ more copy writers than cooks.
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But let me say this about learning experiences: they're weird. Or put it this way: what you learn from a learning experience is generally something else.
Peg Bracken
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it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.
Peg Bracken
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I recently adopted for my own a good motto I saw somewhere, on a barroom mirror or possibly a washroom wall: 'The time you enjoyed wasting wasn't wasted.' I think I'll have that printed some day on a T-shirt or the bedroom ceiling.
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What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us.
Peg Bracken
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One's travel life is basically as incommunicable as his sex life is.
Peg Bracken
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It is a rare expert who clearly realizes how inexpert someone else can be.
Peg Bracken