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One of the loveliest things about being grown up is the knowledge that never again will I have to go through the miserable business of performing in Mrs. Smedley's Annual Piano Recital at McKinleyville's First Presbyterian Church.

Peg Bracken

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Peg Bracken
Age: 89 †
Born: 1918
Born: February 25
Died: 2007
Died: October 20
Author
Humorist
Never
Piano
Presbyterian
Miserable
Loveliest
Knowledge
Presbyterians
Church
Annuals
Business
Annual
Firsts
Adulthood
First
Grown
Recital
Things
Performing
Recitals

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When you're little, time stretches obligingly, and vacation is forever.
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Many a restaurant seems to employ more copy writers than cooks.
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The same fire that hardens the egg will melt the butter and much depends on the personality type, whether you customarily rise to a challenge or whether you sink. For as long as I can remember, I have been a sinker. One challenge, and I drop like a rock.
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You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.
Peg Bracken
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It is always a taut moment in a foreign country waiting to see if your English-speaking guide speaks English.
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There was something immensely comforting, I found, about a crumpet - so comforting that I've never forgotten about them and have even learned to make them myself against those times when I have no other source of supply.
Peg Bracken
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Drinking: something to do while getting drunk.
Peg Bracken
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it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.
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You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.
Peg Bracken
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People would have more leisure time if it weren't for all the leisure-time activities that use it up.
Peg Bracken
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But let me say this about learning experiences: they're weird. Or put it this way: what you learn from a learning experience is generally something else.
Peg Bracken
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The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.
Peg Bracken
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Everything takes longer than you think it should, except for some things that don't take as long.
Peg Bracken
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Facts must be faced. Vegetables simply don't taste as good as most other things do.
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forgetting things is what gives old age a bad name, that and old age.
Peg Bracken
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As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.
Peg Bracken
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One's travel life is basically as incommunicable as his sex life is.
Peg Bracken
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The fact is, the cocktail party has much in its favor. Going to one is a good way of indicating that you're still alive and about, if such is the case, and that you're glad other people are, without having to spend an entire evening proving it.
Peg Bracken
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Mothers always think you are working either too hard or not hard enough.
Peg Bracken
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Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.
Peg Bracken