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It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
Paula Poundstone
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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Living
Night
Part
Best
Interactive
Something
Classic
Always
Lines
Almost
Interesting
More quotes by Paula Poundstone
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Paula Poundstone
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
Paula Poundstone
I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, and that's not what was supposed to happen.
Paula Poundstone
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
Paula Poundstone
I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
Paula Poundstone
I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
Paula Poundstone
I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
Paula Poundstone
I’m an atheist. The good news about atheists is that we have no mandate to convert anyone. So you’ll never find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning with a big smile saying ‘Just stopped by to tell you there is no word. I brought along this little blank book I was hoping you could take a look at.’
Paula Poundstone
There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
Paula Poundstone
I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Paula Poundstone
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
Paula Poundstone
The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
Paula Poundstone
I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?
Paula Poundstone
Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.
Paula Poundstone
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone